I thought I would drop you a line to let you know how Spencer was settling in. He is already receiving his own mail from the four ferals - Tippy, Tuppy, Flinty and Bosscat - who have adopted my cousin who lives in an isolated house on the cliffs near Padstow. They sent firm instructions as how he was to treat us as servants of the lowest order, most of which we decided not to translate for him as we suffer enough already. I thought you might like to see a copy of his reply:-
Dear Cornish Cousins
How very kind of you to write to me. My new servants were most impressed as none of their previous owners had been honoured in this way, and are even more respectful as a result.
I have been here a week now and soon came to the conclusion that this was just the place I have been looking for, though I do miss the fresh air and spend much time gazing longingly out of the window. This is how I met Piglet who. as you will see from the cover, adores me as much as the rest of the staff.
Hopefully within another week or so I shall have access to the great outdoors once I have acquired a collar and disc to say where I live. One of the problems of reaching a venerable age is a deterioration in memory so if I do get lost someone will tell the servants and they can bring me home.
You will be pleased to learn that, even in this short time, the household is already firmly under my paw. We are an all-male residence and I divide my time between the old retainer who lives downstairs and the musical bookworm who inhabits the upper regions. As the latter enjoys the luxury of a double bed we share it.
The singing that you recommend has already been put into practice and, as you rightly say is best carried out at 3.00 a.m. usually while walking all over the other occupant of the bed.
I also like to show my appreciation of each of my new staff by waiting for them to settle in a chair and then leaping onto their lap then working my way up their chest, making a bread with my claws out, and then head butting them on arrival at the top. The result is that they are both reduced to the level of pincushions and are even more subservient as a result.
I have to admit to being fastidious with my diet as I am a fine figure of a cat, a full stone in weight, and want to remain that way. In consequence I eat nothing but Iams cat nuts and resist the temptation of anything else that is offered to me. This seems to please the staff as it makes life easier for them. I make up for this by jumping into my litter tray and scrapping the contents over the length of the passageway. The rest sticks in my paws and is carefully distributed throughout the rest of the house.
So you see, dear cousins, that life could be a whole lot worse and I think I'll settle here.
Yours regally,
Spencer
I think you will gather from this that Spencer is totally in control, and we have now acquired a collar and identity disc so that we can let him have some fresh air in another week or so. He also accepted a little raw chicken this morning while lunch was being prepared. A few photos are enclosed to assure you that he has settled in well and is definitely the boss.
Trust all well with you and your extended family, not forgetting the ducks. You are doing a great job!
Best Wishes
Spencer's new owner