Hello, human. Yes, you. I’m currently interviewing for a new household.

Let me introduce myself properly. I’m a distinguished gentleman of leisure with a full-time commitment to:
- sleeping (very important, I take this seriously),
- outdoor patrols (someone has to supervise the garden),
- and lap occupation (your lap, specifically).

I’m affectionate, sociable, and always keen to be involved in whatever you’re doing—especially if it involves sitting down so I can sit on you.

One of my more charming features is that I quite enjoy being held upside down and having a good stroke. I know—it’s a niche talent, but I like to think it sets me apart.

Now, a small but important detail: I would very much prefer to be the only cat in the household. Not because I’m difficult, but because I have a strong leadership style and feel I could best serve as the sole ruler of the home. Think of it less as “only cat” and more as “benevolent monarch with soft fur”.

In return, I offer:
- companionship,
- warmth,
- mild supervision of your daily activities,
- and an excellent excuse to stay on the sofa a bit longer.

If you’re looking for a loyal, slightly regal, occasionally upside-down companion, I may be exactly what your household is missing.

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