In memory of Kiki

I remember when I met him, I was originally going for his sibling but there was something about him that made me love him so much more, whether it was his looks or the feeling of his fur, I knew he was special. We thought he was a female at first, it was so funny when we took him to the vets to get neutered they had to inform us of this, course it didn't matter because I loved him either way. He was like a child to me, I grief in the way a mother would her child, it feels like I've lost something special, something of mine that I wished were with me now, he was too much of an amazing cat to die, he could do tricks and would come up to me as if he greeted and loved me. He died too young, on my sisters birthday, we got back from bowling, had such a lovely time, all of a sudden I felt absolutely terrible, my mood dropped, I was in the front seat with a hot takeaway on my lap, I remember laughing and talking to everyone in the car with me, I looked up and as we reached near to my house, on the road I saw him, still and lifeless on the road, we stopped before we could damage his body further, I had thrown the food to someone in the back seat and I had no thoughts, I ran out and in the pitch black of the night with only the moon and the bright car lights facing me, I collapsed to my knees, I could not stand, I had no strength to, my sister came out and held him in an awkward position, I took him from her as she passed his Corpse to me in silence, I was wailing, I have never cried In such pain and volume, it all came out of me, I had no control, I could barely breath, my mum drove the car to the house where I walked holding Kiki in my arms and cradling his warm fur, I didn't dare look at his face, as soon as I made it to the front of my house I couldn't hold in my cries and had fallen once again, I had his blood on my hands and tears on my clothes, with my sister at my shoulder she stood me up, I remember being asked where he should go, I said by the family tree, so My sister grabbed the shovel from the shed and began digging by the tree, I made my way over and as everyone tried to dig I clutched him in my arms, I admit to glimpsing over to his shattered face, my sisters boyfriend told me not to as it wasn't pleasant. My dad and other sister then arrived, not knowing of the situation, I placed my baby boy in a blanket and placed him carefully into the ground, I had never cried so loud before, I couldn't breath, we went into the house, my outfit now drenched in blood and tears, I can never wear it again, I changed myself, everyone hugged me and told me it was okay, everyone ate that night, except me, the next day I mourned at school, they wouldn't let me home, I then continued crying every so often in my room, I still do, now a year later. His sister died a few months after him, now we vow to never let a cat outside again, for he was only 9 months old.

by Tia Jones